Mar 8, 2012
Day 23 March 7, 2012
I talk a lot about how I want my life to be in a year, but today I'm going further down the road. I want to tell you how I want my life to be in ten years. When I am 32, I hope to have my own house and a decent car. Right now my favorite vehicle is the Dodge Journey. They are awesome! I hope that in ten years I have a few real good friends, ones that can go on a girls' night and do stuff like that every once in a while.
I would also like for my little family of two to turn out to be four or five. I'd like to have a husband who loves me for me and Bentley just as much. I want to have a daughter, too.
I want to be involved in something, be a part of something bigger than myself; maybe a part of some committee or something. I'd really like to go back to school. When I'm normal I think I'll be able to focus on more important things. I have to accomplish something. I've been coasting since I was fifteen years old, never putting forth any effort or focusing on what was really important. That's got to change.
I want to have been able to say I've been to great places. I want to go out of the country. I want to go on a cruise, too. I want to ride a train and I want to fly! I want to feel free. I don't want to be stuck anymore. I want to live out in the wide open spaces where my kids have all the room they need to grow and do all the things their little hearts desire. I want to be able to give them whatever they need and things they want. I want to be able to tuck them in at night with their daddy by my side and go to sleep every night with the one who loves me and our family more than anything, but only when I'm ready.
In ten years I want to finally feel like I belong, like a man needs me, like my children need me. I want to be Supermom! I know I can be. I can love with the best of them and I'll never be ashamed of that. When I am normal, I believe that whoever loves me is going to be very lucky to have me.
I want all these things for my future, but I know it will never happen unless I work on myself, because most of all in ten years, I just want to be normal; an average 32 year old.
Mommy&B
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Normal is just a word. Think about that. How many people can say they are "normal"? I certainly can't. What's important is that in 10 years you love yourself for being "yourself". But, I know what you mean. You want to have a happy family, like everyone else seem to have. No one has the perfect life, it's how you perceive their life. Take those deep breaths I'm always talking about, drink an ice cold bottle of water when you feel out of breath and like you don't even have the strength to get yourself dressed. Stand up straight, deep breath and ice cold water. Sometimes those things feel like the hardest things to do, but it amazingly works. I've been there, done that. Then, just do it,,,,,,,,just get on with your day. You WILL make it through the day.
ReplyDeleteI love you!! and I hope all that doesn't sound too stupid, cuz I believe in it and you!
I love you too Mom and I know it works, I've had to do it occasionally.
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