Day 22 March 6, 2012

I'm learning fast that it's important to maintain good positive relationships with people, and to not bother with the negative ones. For me, keeping contact with people who don't value me as a friend is something I do best. Why do I bother? It just gives me bad feelings and makes me worry about stuff I shouldn't worry about. I don't have a whole lot of true friends and even less that I can spend time with on a regular basis. That's probably the biggest reason why I try to be friends with people who don't really care. And who wants to put up with all my bull? I need a 24 hour therapist that I can text when I feel sad so I can stop texting people who are getting annoyed and couldn't care less. And when I'm sad, why do I feel the need to talk to someone about it anyway? No matter what anyone says I'm still going to be sad. Most of them don't even help. I have no idea how to handle my depression and neither does anyone else. How can I in all honesty expect them to? I guess it's my fault that I have these negative relationships; I either form them for the wrong reasons or just let them go bad by making them listen to me whine. I wish I could make it better. I don't have a whole lot of friends around here and I have surely burnt some bridges. This time next year I hope to have more friends that are good for me and value our friendship. I wish and hope for a lot of things to come my way in the future, but I just really hope that I can help myself get to my happy, normal place and can be content. If more people love me for me in the process, that's just a pleasant bonus. Mommy&B