Day 20 March 4, 2012

Sunday was another good day. We spent the morning and afternoon in Mankato with Mom and Joel. Chanse and Laney came to Mom's and brought Thoran and Bentley their birthday presents and stayed to watch the race. Lara, Bentley, and I went to Grandma Marlene's to visit her also. She broke her ankle a few weeks back when she slipped on some ice. Poor Grandma. It's a good thing she has Carlyle to take care of her! We went to see Grandma Beth on Saturday, too. Spending time with family is always a good way to make me feel better. Sometimes, though, I get anxious and feel like just retreating to my room to take a nap. I don't know why this is really, but I wish it would stop happening. When there gets to be a lot of people around I just feel like being alone. I will usually go to the office and play around on facebook or something when this happens. It just confuses me so much because when I am forced to be alone, I hate it, but when I am around a lot of people, I want to be alone. I guess I will always have a hard time being content. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way complaining about spending time with my family because I love to spend time with my family. I love being around people who love me and accept me for the way I am; for who I am. They will never leave my side because I make a stupid mistake or because I have an illness. They are there for me through thick and thin because they love me unconditionally. No one else could ever say that about me. I guess that I don't deserve to have people in my life that can't accept me for me. Why should I let them be a part of my life or rule my world? They aren't going to matter when it really counts anyway because when the going gets tough, they'll be gone. So why am I so stuck? Why am I stuck on this guy that can't accept me, and why can't I be with someone who does? When the time is right of course. Hold on, I think I got off topic. The point of the story is that I have people who do accept me for me and I love them for that and I shouldn't let anyone else in my life that doesn't. I need to make it a point to go see my family more often, then maybe I won't feel the way I do all the time. Yes, family is something I will never take for granted. I love you all! Mommy&B