Day 64 April 17, 2012

I know you guys don't hear from me as much as I wish you did, but I get so caught up in myself sometimes that I don't have the energy or the focus and concentration to get the posts written. I am disappointed with myself in a way for this. This project is supposed to be my pride and joy, and in many ways it is, but I am lacking. The good news is that things are going well in life these days. I couldn't be happier. For some reason I feel content with the way my life is unfolding. It is a great feeling; not worrying about anything. Whenever I start to have ruminating thoughts, I make sure I focus on something else, so I don't stew over it. I wish I could be that way all the time. I have to give Stephanie all the credit in the world. She has helped me so much these last two months. I have gone a long way. There is still a lot to work on, no doubt, but I am loving the progress. I am able to do so much more, feel so much better, and think so much clearer and more rational. I think I got to the point that I had to make a decision to make things different, OR ELSE, and that was what put things over the edge and changed everything. I have a new attitude about things. It feels great. I am so grateful for everything I have in my life today. I read something on a sign today that said..."Contentment is not fulfillment of things you want, but the realization of what you already have in life." I can finally say, at least for now, that I am content. Mommy&B