Day 7 February 20, 2012

Let's talk about family. If any of you readers are like me, and I'm sure you are, you probably couldn't get by without your family. Am I right? Well that's my case. My family has been there for me unconditionally since that record cold night in December 1989. Believe me I have definitely made my fair share of mistakes. I've chosen the wrong path enough in my life, and since then I've only been trying to go down the right one just to learn it is still wrong, or maybe just not my time, I don't know. But every time I do, my family is always there to steer me straight again.

You can say I had a pretty average childhood. I've got my twin sister, Lara, (which I suppose having a twin isn't average, but oh well) my half-brother, Chanse, and half-sister, Bobi. We grew up together all in the same house, although we were in 1st grade when Bobi went off to college. My mom and dad are divorced, but Dad almost never missed a weekend with us. As far as I'm concerned he was a model divorced father, someone a lot of deadbeat dads should have taken notes from. When I was 8 or so, Mom got remarried to Joel. At first we were scared of him, but we grew to love and respect him. He is a great step dad and I couldn't ask for better. They all have my back. They all worry about me, too. This stage in my life has proven difficult. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water flopping around with no idea what to do to save myself. But no matter what happens, no matter how crazy I seem to be, they will always be there. I love them all.

I guess for a while now I've been looking for someone that can love me like my family loves me; someone who sees past all my faults and craziness and only sees how passionate and loving and loyal and honest I can be. I may not see myself as perfect, but I can take pride in those things. And maybe it is more of a fault that I can feel that way towards someone. It hasn't seemed to hook me a keeper yet. I'm hoping that after this year, I will finally be able to be with my soul mate; whoever he is, the one who loves me like my family does. They will never leave me, no matter how crazy I was, no matter what stupid mistakes I make. I know I am a good person. The way I am now is not the real me, but at the end of these 366 days, I truly believe I can be a 10, or at least an 8 :) I think any guy would be lucky to have me. My family knows they are, and my soul mate will, too.

Mommy&B